


Luke Learns First Hand Why You Shouldn't Kidnap Baby Yoda

by boredom



Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor, ManDadlorian, Single dad mando, luke is trying his best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:13:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21793558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boredom/pseuds/boredom
Summary: Luke has hunted down an extremist group hell bent of destroying anyone sensitive to the Force, even if they are children. He's met his match and might not be able to take down this horrible group of people. Good thing there is a very angry dad with a ton of weapons willing to do the heavy lifting.
Relationships: Baby Yoda & The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)
Comments: 74
Kudos: 1683
Collections: Movies, When a laugh is needed





	Luke Learns First Hand Why You Shouldn't Kidnap Baby Yoda

**Author's Note:**

> My first work in this fandom. I, like the rest of the internet, have fallen in love with Baby Yoda. I, like the rest of the internet, am also extremely attracted to Mando, despite never seeing his skin. Disney has turned us all into Victorian maidens thirsting to see an ankle. Is anyone upset by this?

When the Emperor was defeated, peace was restored to the Galaxy. People could live without fear of the Empire storming their front door and blowing up planets indiscriminately. Or so Luke thought. 

He really was naive to think that killing one man and destroying two moon-sized ships would be enough to end the destruction. Leia was a great leader to be sure. She could hold her own against most sexist pigs who looked down on her. She had a keen mind for strategy, both political and battle, and was making progress in dismantling the corrupt system. But Luke wanted to do more. He wanted to help. He wanted to use his Jedi training to further the cause of peace. So he did the logical thing and set out trying to set up the Jedi order once more. 

He really was naive. He had thought that only the emperor hated Jedi. That only the emperor wanted the Jedi dead. Nope, it turned out, there was a whole group of people whose sole purpose in life was to hunt down any force-sensitive children and kill them. It looked like the Jedi order would have to wait. First, Luke had to deal with this. 

And he was dealing with this! Kind of. 

Oh, alright. His ship had been destroyed the moment he entered the ship’s radar and he had been taken prisoner. Now, he was listening to the leader of this anti-Jedi/force user group rant and rave and monologue about the Force this and the Force that. 

“And I thought Palpatine talked too much,” Luke muttered. Seriously, he had been here for hours! How much longer was this guy going to talk for? 

Luke had tried to escape about three hours ago but hadn’t gotten very far. The bastard took his lightsaber and everything in the room had been bolted down, so Luke couldn’t use the force to move objects. 

“Now, young Skywalker,” the man said. 

Luke perked up. Maybe now he would be put out of his misery and die. It was a small price to pay to never have to listen to this guy talk about his childhood ever again. 

“You have set out to reinstitute the Jedi Order,” the man began to pace. “I cannot allow that. Force users are selfish, horrible creatures who only use their powers for evil.”

Luke opened his mouth to argue, but the man cut him off. 

“I was there when the Jedi were at their most powerful. I was there when the Sith were at their most powerful. Nothing good can come from a group of all-powerful beings who are held to nothing but their own morals.” 

Maybe he had a point. But whatever point he had was moot because he was literally killing children. And Luke told him so. 

The man just laughed and snapped his fingers. The guards who had been standing still at the doors sprang to life and left the room. 

“You really think so?”

“Yes. Whether you like the Force or not, killing children is too much… um, sorry. I never got your name.” 

“Oh, right, terribly rude of me. I’m Kal Tan.”

“Luke Skywalker.”

“Pleasure to meet you.”

“Yeah, so, anyways. You shouldn’t be killing children. It’s immoral and you will bring nothing but pain to the parents whose kids you’ve murdered because of your own prejudice.”

Kal Tan threw back his head and laughed. The door opened and Luke could hear an infant crying. His heart dropped. Oh no. Was Kal Tan going to kill another kid? He needed to figure out some way to get out of this situation and save the kid. 

“Bring him forth.” Kal Tan motioned for the guards. 

Luke tried to get a peek at the baby but could see nothing as the guard swept by him and handed the infant to Kal Tan. When the guard stepped back. Luke gasped. 

“Master Yoda?” Okay, that was a stupid thing to say. He knew, logically, Master Yoda probably wasn’t currently an infant… though he wasn’t entirely sure how his species or Force Afterlife worked, so maybe it was a possibility? Anyways, it probably wasn’t Master Yoda, but the baby sure looked like him. He was tiny, less wrinkly and seemed to have ears and eyes that were too big for its body. It was shaking its little fists and clearly trying to escape. 

One of the guards beside Luke suddenly lurched back. 

Kal Tan laughed and stomped his foot on the ground. “Magnetic boots. You can’t throw us back that easily.”

Well, that explained why Luke wasn’t able to throw any of the guards or droids on the ship earlier. 

“You can’t kill him. Please, let him go,” Luke begged, his mind spinning as he tried to come up with a plan. Oh, he really should have accepted Han’s offer to have him come along. But no, he thought that Han and Chewy would be better helping guard Leia at a potentially deadly political negotiation. 

Kal Tan lifted the child up. “This child is the most powerful force user I have ever encountered. If he grows up, he could destroy us all.” 

“But he might not!” Luke cried. “He might grow up to be a normal kid who doesn’t even use his powers!” 

“Ah, but there are people like you, Luke Skywalker, people who are looking for him to shape and mold him into a weapon of their choice. There are still Sith in the galaxy. What if he were to fall into their hands?”

“That doesn’t mean you should kill him!” Was it just him, or was there a lot of commotion coming from outside?

Kal Tan didn’t seem to notice and paced until his back was facing the door. “Your cries for mercy are useless, Luke Skywalker. The child will die!” He pulled out a knife and held it to the baby. The baby continued to squirm and cry even louder than before. 

“I wonder how many hearts you have?” Kal Tan mused. “I should probably just stab you all over to ensure you well and truly die. Then I will set you on fire, for good measure.” He jerked the knife back. 

“No!” Luke shouted, lunging forward in a last-ditch effort to save the child. 

The doors opened. 

Blaster shots were fired. 

The two guards in the room dropped dead. 

Kal Tan’s eyes widened. More blaster shots were fired. 

More blaster shots were fired. 

Even more blaster shots were fired. 

Even more blaster shots were fired.

Okay, how many rounds were going to be fired?

Kal Tan dropped the knife and the kid before dropping to the floor, his chest more holes than body. 

Behind him stood a bounty hunter, looking almost exactly like Boba Fett, except his armor was cleaner than the other bounty hunter. Was he here for the kid too? Luke still didn’t have his lightsaber but he would fight this man to keep the baby…

The baby waddled past him, cooing with his arms outstretched. 

The bounty hunter bent over and scooped him up into his arm, the kid patting his helmet and cooing as if it hadn't just been threatened with a knife. 

“Hey, you little womp rat,” the bounty hunter said in a voice that was much too calm and endearing for a hired hitman. “Sorry, it took so long. You alright?” 

The baby giggled and the bounty hunter seemed satisfied. Then he noticed Luke and raised his blaster. 

“I was trying to save the kid! I swear!” He held up his hands to show him the cuffs and prayed that the guy believed him. 

He lowered his blaster and walked away. Luke breathed a sigh of relief. Then he realized he was stuck in deep space with no way to get into contact with his friends. Oh, he hoped this man was nice. 

“Um, actually, my ship kind of got destroyed. Do you think I could hitch a ride with you?” 

The bounty hunter stopped. He was silent. Luke held his breath. 

“You touch the kid, I will kill you.” 

It wasn’t a yes. 

But it wasn’t a no! Luke stood up and trotted after them. It was probably too much to ask he take off the cuffs. He’d just have to deal with Han making fun of him for the next few months. 

As they walked through the ship, Luke realized what all the commotion he heard was. Every single droid and person on this ship had been riddled with blaster shots. A fair amount of them had been burned as well. He decided not to comment. 

They made it back to the ship, which was nicer than the Millenium Falcon (then again, most ships were). Luke’s suspicions that the bounty hunter wasn’t just hired to get the kid, but was actually his caretaker were confirmed when he noticed a specialized seat in the cockpit the kid sat in. 

Without saying a word, or even asking Luke where he needed to get to, the bounty hunter flew them away from the ship. 

Luke really didn’t want to push his luck, but if the child was as powerful as Kal Tan had said he was, then he really should be trained. Currently, he was chewing on a metal ball that looked like it should have been screwed onto a lever. 

“So…” he said. The bounty hunter didn’t acknowledge him. He decided to press forward. “Your kid is pretty force-sensitive, huh?” 

The bounty hunter placed a blaster on the console. 

Luke understood the message and switched goals. He did want to take on the child as an apprentice, but he’d settle for something a little less… risky. “I’m pretty force-sensitive too. It can be challenging to deal with this when you don’t know how.” 

He placed a knife on the console. 

He aborted the mission. Somethings just weren’t worth the risk. “If you ever have any questions or need any advice, just give me a call.”

Silence. 

“You know, you can just drop me off at any planet capable of space communication. I’m really not that picky. You don’t even have to stop. I’ll just jump out.” 

The baby continued to coo and gnaw on the metal ball. Luke sighed and sank back into his chair. It was going to be a long flight. 

oOoOoOo

“So did you take care of kidnapper?” Leia asked. The potentially hostile political negotiations were actually a pleasant tea party. Han and Chewy would have definitely preferred to be with Luke. 

“Well, kind of.” 

Han snorted. “You either did or you didn’t.” 

“I was there. I stalled him long enough for a very angry dad to get there and take him out instead.” 

“Really?” Leia asked. “That’s surprising that a normal father can take on such a powerful criminal.” 

Luke thought back to the barbequed droids that had littered the hallways of the ship and the multitude of weapons the bounty hunter had on him. “Yep, well, you never know what someone does for a living.” 

“I guess that’s true.” Leia turned back to her reports and started discussing what the next steps for negotiations should be. Luke thought back to the bounty hunter and the baby. Hopefully, they would continue to stay safe. Hopefully, the kid would grow up using his powers for good. Even though he knew nothing of the man, his past, or his present, Luke had the feeling that he wouldn’t let the baby become evil. He focused on Leia’s boring political talk and let the Mandalorian slip from his mind.


End file.
